Thursday 30th June 2016 (7.32pm)

6/10 – I felt a bit flat today even though I can see and feel that I am making improvements and heading in the right direction. Physically I do not feel great but I still went to the gym to do what turned out to be a good 45 minute Wattbike session. I met up with a friend from work at lunch time. It does not appear that I am missing much at work. It is strange but I still feel that I am not ready to return to the real world. I do not think I am strong enough; yet I am conscious that I have been off 3 months already. I never anticipated being off this long; but then again I underestimated how big my depression had become.

I had counselling this afternoon and I was more positive than my last session. I explained that I had been relatively stable over the last week, but still had some way to go to be happy. I talked about how I felt that I had completely emptied my brain and was starting to fill it back up again. I explained how I wanted to use what I had been through positively to help others and discussed the 999 blue light scheme. Confirmed that it is not yet available in Wales. I threw some ideas around such as support groups like โ€˜mental health matesโ€™ as set up by Bryony Gordon. The counsellor has referred me to Mindfulness. So lets see what this is all about.

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